• Who's who and history of the squadron

    • About Epicenter

    One might ask what Street Fighter has to do with Robotech or Macross and I'd tell you about as much as 7-11 quick mart does as well. It's where three guys named Kristian, Paul ,and Jerry all met. How they met is simply by hording the Street Fighter 2 video game for hours on end and duking it out constantly. No none of us knew each other outside of this small realm called 7-11 but we had a damn good time. Finally they started hanging out outside of the Street Fighter to find out that they all shared a fondness of roleplaying and loved Robotech. Paul and Kristian had been playing Robotech for awhile and invited Jerry to RP some time. Thus Epicenter squadron was born. From then on out damn near every week end and some times during the week the three gamed, all nighters were a thing of reality and Stater Bros. generic tea mix(nick name "TAR")kept us fresh and wired . Then more came. The flock to be later know as epicenter grew to laughable sizes as it was evident we had too many often, but it was all good seeing as that spawned the series of jokes that never ceased. Jim McClurg, Chris Montero and his brother Joey Montero, Chris McLaughton, Daniel Linton were all the next batch of players of this late night warmongering troupe

    Time rolled by like water upon sand, and through many moves the group remained. Although in a "Next Generation" Form with notable players as Kristian, Paul, Jerry, David MacFarlane, Bob Amado , Todd Rodreguez, and Jason Ashbaugh saw combat unparalelled in the Macross universe. From saving the FX-101 (yes the same one from Megazone 23-part 2) from the vile gurik to blowing the hell out of the Marduk starships, rouge Zentradi and their "stingers" to fighting our way out of an infested MARS base full of Aliens (from the movie with the same name) we did it all and lived to tell about it. With the comic book store in town opening up came the close to Epicenter Squadron as we knew it. The Comic store opened it's doors to role playing late nights and due to funds or the plain desire not to game there the group split in two and neither lasted long without the other. But did that stop the memories? Not by a long shot!

    So I sit here, having told the tale of Epicenter Squadron and raise a warm cup of sake in a toast to the best damn fighter squadron ever and group of gamers.

    Jerry aka: Weatherman1
    How to form a successful fighter squadron

    Much like Scream and Scream 2 the movies there are certain rules one must obey when forming a fighter squadron( and make it last). Hopefully those that read this will take to heart what is said (and a grain of salt) as I share with you how Epicenter Squadron made it so big.

    1) First and foremost you must learn another language. Even tidbits will help because nothing is more effective than to yell YAZACK (damn)back at the oncoming Marduk forces. This puts them at a disadvantage.

    2) Always yell and refuse to follow the female flight commander. Nothing inspires your squadron onto greatness than male chauvinism

    3) Always make up with said flight commander with candle lit dinners and trips to the Seven Mile High Club

    4) ALWAYS hit on the requisitions officer. Bumping and grinding = hot new guns and super death kill fighters, free upgrades and mecha sized BFG-2000's that have you ordering the surrender of entire Battleships at once

    5) TAR, If you have a neighborhood Stater Brothers, TAR is their generic brand instant tea mix. Ingredients? per 32 oz you want at least two full scoops of TAR in your cup. Wired for the rest of the night, your enemies will now know pain unfelt of in hell

    6) Math. Learn well just how much damage you can do in one shot when firing every damn weapon on your Valkyrie. Nothing will scare the enemy more to see your mini mushroom cloud of anilihlation

    7)Find someone who will make sure you do NOT get drunk at any point in the game. Should you get drunk while in the bar make sure you take at least 15 points off of appearance of the last woman you remember laying eyes on. If she's a keeper, stay in bed and claim "I planned this" if she's relies on the vibrations that her obease body makes to "wash" off the dirt collected under her flaps of skin, smells of her new fragerance "limberger", pull yourself from whatever crevasse she has you pinned between (no those were NOT pillows you placed your hands between) gnawing off your own body limbs if possible and slide out of the room then pray to the Protoculture God that none of your fellow Wingmen saw this Invid version of an Aunt Bundy breech birth with you last night.

    8) Hard up for a date? Shoot her down! the Meltran, Marduk, and Invid (5th stage) all have the hottest women this side of anywhere! These are some of the best women to have since they actually WANT to learn to cook , clean and procreate. And just think who are they going to compare you to? Teach them all of the important terran words like " oh god, yes please, harder, more,ride me, yes dear, what would you like to do honey?, sex, what would you like to eat tonight honey? "etc.

    9) ALWAYS dance with Zentradei into the hanger bay for interrogation. Zentradei don't understand culture and dancing with them has them at your mercy, being too stunned to understand

    10) "you've lost that lovin feelin" from Top Gun, memorize it

    11) mercenaries are you friends, when they aren't kill them and take their mecha.

    12) ALWAYS shoot down more Starships than your being shot down. People tend to overlook how many fighters you've lost or cracked up badly when you have a few Zentran Battleships under your belt

    13) Jokes, never leave home without them. but beware how they might affect you, while funny, shit bombs tend to be hard to make and even harder to hide. Common places are the cockpit and flight locker. Also remember never perform a joke that affects the squadron. some Stealth fighters simply weren't meant to be painted hot pink with the license plate "bad girl"

    14) NEVER assume your gamemaster will keep you within the realm of Robotech/Macross. This holds true if he/she drinks of TAR. If a new anime has come out, hide it. If it's mecha related tell him/her it was the worst flick you've seen. Beware the Gurik of Megazone 23 part 2.

    15) Movies. Make sure you've seen all the required films including Full Metal Jacket, Apocalyspe Now, all pertanent Macross films, Ghostbusters , Aliens 2, Ninja Scroll and similar movies. Why? Because you will find a nuggest of wisdom in all of these movies at some point in your game" Egon: Would you like some coffee Mr Tully? Mr Tully: would I? secretary: yes have some Mr Tully: yes have some...." Believe me, during those late nights you WILL find something

    16) Avoid the Mary Jane Rotten Crotch bar

    17) Lastly, have FUN! No game is ever complete without the nuances that happen behind the scenes, catch phrases and movie quotes you always seem to recite at the right moment

    I appologize ahead of time if my use of laguage is too strong, but this wasn't meant to be a childrens page and thankfully they still can look at this without any pornography (unlike a large portion of the net) No I am not into male chauvinism, it only appears that way because all of this was from a group of purely males. "boys will be boys"
    Who's who and why:
  • Paul " yes I dance the female Zentradi into the flight bay!" "Akuma" Harlow: Brains behind most of our madness and Robotech/ Macross guru. Best event: Driving four of us to an LA comic con for anime out the ass at 80 miles per hour on 30 mile per hour turns and jamming to White Zombie all the way.
  • Kristian"...as I pray to the almighty Tea god TAR....." "Sagat" Norberg: Versed in Robotech and Marvel Super Heroes like no other and the madness behind any brains! Best Event: probably anytime late night where Kristian thought it to be a good idea to charge into a Battleship single handedly to either A) blow it to kingdom come B) to find an exotic date
  • David:" while pointing his finger in the air 'I DODGE!' " MacFarland: The same guy should have been nicknamed "fire and forget" has his enemies are well aware. Best Event: two actually 1) getting drunk IC and talking out his woes with a vid phone, only to come home to a tazer hooked up to his toliet JUST as he had to take a load off his mind! 2) for being drunk OOC and asking "Jerry, YOU know how many liters are in a two liter BOTTLE?!" my reply" umm 2 Dave" David: "RIGHT!"
  • Jim "oh" "you just love sacks hitting your chin dont you Jim?" McClure: Not always aware of what was going on but gave it his all anyways. Current holder of the Heavyweight champ belt Best event: Poor Jim fell victim to one of my late night pranks which involved having him fire on a non exsisting character and prevent a non exsisting attack "PAUL! I fire my full payload at Zangief before he piledrives the base!"
  • Chris"Utility lip" "BOTTOM LIP ATTACK!" Montero: The only person in the squadron able to hide the SDF-1 in his bottom lip Best Event: and this is a good one. Chris late night decided to pay his brother Joey back for a joke and does so by putting elmers glue, tabasco sause, relish, cat crap, super glue and katsup in Joeys hair. After pulling the sheets from his face and prying his eyes back open Joey had a buzz the next day
  • Bob " knuckle dragger" Amado: Larry Hama( of GI Joe and Wolverine fame) be praised in this faithful follower Best Event: After litterally dragging his knuckles into the Mary Jane Rotten Crotch bar to proceed to hit on a fine woman, forgetting he fell victim to a shit bomb just before heading out for combat.
  • Todd "roach""baweep-granna weep-ninee bong?" Rodreguez: Known for his late night stamina 4'10 100+lbs was the best at what he did, although we never knew WHAT it was he did. Lost the Heavyweight champ belt to 6'5 Jim after feigning a submission and rolled him over into a small package. Yet another late night oddity Best Event: Yet another prank on David IC. Filling his room with water and sealing the door with shrink wrap so when he opened the door he'd have just a moment to see the gold fish swim by before the water came crashing out
  • Joey" Hey Nanny! why???? "Nanny: Z!!"Montero:Caretaker of frightful "Nanny", the senile old woman who wiped her butt with Joeys underwear....without him knowing Best Event: during one of their regular wrestling/fighting matches Joey out maneuved his brother Chris and pushed him into their marsh ridden water hole commonly called their "pool" which hadnt seen chlorine since the first coming of Christ and was SO green it actually had a population of frogs and reeds. Chris sat outside to roleplay for the next two days
  • Mike"it will be mine, oh yes it will be mine"Combs: Was a newcomer to the game and shared the uncanny nack for winning "smooch the pooch" Best Event: His best event came from sneaking into the enemy battleship and replacing their nav disk with the lastest hit from Sharon Apple
  • Jason "Bob, malugalugalugaluga" St John His nickname says it all Best Event: His only real descernable one found his shattered veritech cockpit shooting forward past his exploding main body and as the cockpit flew out into space he past the rest of us up as we saw his cheering and most exuberant outlook at his now bodyless fighter "Yeah yeah yeah!!!"
  • Tim "baw weep granaweep ninee bong"Karnes: Was with us a short time but left his mark as perhaps the least wisdom gifted pilot Best Event: The scene, MARS base SERA, the operation, flush out the Aliens(same as the movie)before the base is lost. He has two, count them two in the same OP. First, he lets lose with his Assault rifle near the base's nuclear reactor cracking it, now with the mission officially Fubar on our way out we get pinned by the Aliens to which he shouts the universal phrase of peace (as seen in Transformers the movie) " Ba weep grana weep ninee bong!!!"
  • Chris "blub blub" Mclaughton: Perhaps the most fun during his puberty stage of voice cracking "EvAde evaDE heheEHEHeheheEhe" Best Event: Hands down perhaps the worst fighter pilot of the whole UN Spacy forces there was never a time where Chris didn't blow his fighter into pieces by too much overthrust to the main engines or over exertion of his main cannon. The one time he made it out of combat with his fighter in one piece he was blown apart by friendly fire in a retreat
  • Jerome "Weatherman"Lamberth: The caretaken of this page and founder of the name Epicenter Squadron Best Event: Pilot of the dreaded "Franken-mech" a horrible amalgam of mech parts that did a horrendous job of wiping out the enemy. You knew Weatherman was in the area because you heard the weather forecast of heavy rain and thunder. Communications man who often jammed both friendly and enemy wave lengths with gay sex pornos to confuse the enemy Zentran and Meltrans. Also Yellow men can jump as Sgt Chen Long hussled his way by conning other pilots into a game of basketball, would end the game in slam dunks from the half court mark , sparks trailing from his feet in the air.
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